September 11, 2011

Now it's 10 years later and still no police state.

This was my post from 5 years ago that recounted my whereabouts.

http://celtic-knot.blogspot.com/2006/09/and-so-here-we-are.html

I feel like you kind of have to make a post about a something. I had hoped our country would become more patriotic. Unfortunately, it has not. It has only fallen deeper into idiocracy, which means Baz Lurhman was right, "Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders." 


I think, if anything, we have missed the boat as a nation. I don't think we get what it's about or why and we just don't care. Which is sad. 

How to Fix the Country

We have a mess on our hands in our country. How do we fix it?

1. We have to reduce the number of people.

I'm not talking about exterminating populations, I'm talking about ways to reduce the number of people dependent on government. I didn't know this until recently, but our population in 1790 was 3 million. It's up to 300 million now and there is more government around. Supporting more people means more money and more infrastructure. What's the fix?

I'm an obvious supporter of population control by means of limiting the number of people entering our country legally. This is a great country to live, but if we aren't careful we get too many people who want to take advantage of it.

Second way to reduce population is to enforce birth control for those on welfare. Why not? Louisiana is known for a scheme that people perpetually live on welfare by getting willing young girls pregnant.

Finally, we have to identify and deport those not here legally. We can simplify the citizenship process, but our priority should be to remove those who shouldn't be here.

See this video for more details:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5iFESMAU58

2. We need to produce some type of product.

You may ask, "If we don't have as many people in the country, how are we going to produce something?" It's economics. With fewer workers, wages should increase, when wages increase, and there is more opportunity for work, more people spend money. We haven't really produced anything for a long time. We need to make a product and sell it. The problem is that most items can be produced more economically in other countries.

First thing we need to do is decrease the influence of union bargaining power on wages. Part of the wage issue is exactly the solution. We produce things overseas because the cost of labor is too high. So reduce the cost of labor.

3. Decrease dependence on foreign oil. We've invested a lot in green energy, but we haven't seen a return. If you get a government grant for developing something for green energy we have to set the bar pretty high. Since NASA is not doing shuttle missions, we need them to start developing ways to decrease dependence on foreign oil.

Why foreign oil? Because we don't control the price of things that we consume a great quantity of. By reducing the price or making foreign oil insignificant, we reduce the income of terrorist groups that get funding from oil revenue. We also stabilize the Middle East by making their influence on the world less than significant.

So basically, we need higher standards for investments in green energy and, in turn, we reduce terrorism.

4. Term limits for all elected officials. Government has become too much of a business. Plain and simple, they don't need to be there all year and they don't need to be paid what they are paid and they don't need to be there that long.

The T Girl

Why do I find the T-M0b!l3 girl so hot in this commercial? I don't even like rap.

Of Zombie Movies

It's really slow at work when students leave. So much so I usually partake of a morning movie feature. I make sure it doesn't interfere with work.

This summer has been the Zombie Summer. I've bought a bunch of zombie movies used and watched them. Among the film festival features are:

1. 28 Days
2. 28 Weeks Later
3. Dawn of the Dead
4. Day of the Dead
5. Zombie Diaries
6. Trailer Park of Terror
7. Shawn of the Dead
8. I am Legend

I've learned the following.

1. There will be nudity

No zombie movie can exist without nudity.

2. 60% of the cast will die

More than likely, no one that's in the first few scenes will live. The more offensive the character, the more likely they will die. The dumber the character, the more likely they will die.

3. People who keep secrets, die.

If you try to hide something, you die.

4. To kill a zombie you have to shoot it in the head, cut off it's head or generally bash it's brain in

Despite the fact that this is common knowledge in the entire world, it must be re-iterated over and over and at least one person must die in a zombie movie before they realize you have to go for the head shot.

5. Zombie infections are transmitted like an STD.

The zombie virus - a.k.a. The Rage Virus, Captain Trips, etc - is transmitted through bodily fluids. Kissing, sex, bites, getting infected pigeon poo in your eye will turn you into a zombie. Even if you kill them and get blood all over you, it will only get you infected if it enters your blood stream. Don't know how THAT'S possible. Therefore, practice safe zombie hunting and condomize yourself.

6. No one ever has enough bullets.

Good lord, if you are going to carry a weapon, bring enough bullets. A good sword or spear is much more useful than a gun. A blade is only good for close quarters, but much more effective than a gun it seems.

7. Despite the government/military's best effort to quarantine, zombies will escape.

8. White people always want to split up.

Stupid honkeys. Stay together and keep your backs together.

9. Children not infected in the first 15 minutes live.

No one kills a kid in a movie unless it's real drama.

10. Commit Suicide if You Are Infected

It's much easier to not fight at all and commit suicide especially if you are infected. It also never fails that if you are infected, the hottest leading lady will be in love with you.

I can't let this one go by

The unfortunate crossing of a last name and a news event.

Commencement Speech

I was challenged to write a commencement speech. So here you have it.

Thank you for letting me speak today to the class of 2011. It is an honor and a privilege to be with you and your loved ones today. I hope my words will bring you insight and footing for your journey ahead.

I wish I could say that the rest of your life will be a page from Dr. Seuss' Oh, The Places You Will Go! but I would be lying to you if I told you that. As a matter of fact, I believe Dr. Seuss was terribly wrong in filling your heads with these silly notions that you will be so incredibly brilliant that the rest of your life will be amazing. Horse $h!t!

In the next few months you will discover that not everyone gets a trophy. As a matter of fact, most people will receive a pink slip more than any corporate reward. Your promotion will not depend on your merits or the thousands of dollars of education you received from this fine institution, but rather depend on who's a$$ you kissed or who you slept with to get you to a higher level. I do not suggest doing either of those, but there are plenty who have made their way to the top using such nefarious means.

Your generation has been hovered over and raised to believe you are incredibly special. This, in fact, is once again horse $h!t. You know very little regarding the workings of the real world unless you have been working your way through college. All that stuff you regurgitated from the $150 textbooks is nothing more than theory from an aging hippie who sells pie-in-th-sky ideas for profit. He cares little about you and will not remember you after you leave unless you had big boobs.

You are special, just like the 6.2 billion other people in the world. As a matter of fact you are incredibly common, pampered and disillusioned. You will not run the company in 6 months, 6 years or 6 decades. Look around the neighborhood you grew up in. How many of those people are running companies, making millions and living a life of fame and fortune?

Life is hard. It forces you to make difficult decisions. It beats you down, makes you feel inadequate and scars you as an old wound from a lover.

What words, then, can I offer to keep you from slitting your throat after this speech? I will offer you this in a few sentences.

First, you are not common, but that does not mean you have to act that way. You choose and you decide how you treat people and the decisions you will have to live with. I have learned that helping people advances my inner peace more than anything.

Second, sharing is good despite what the world tells you. Give something. It is uncommon to do that.

Next, fail and fail often. Your generation has not been allowed to fail and therefore has not been allowed to learn from their mistakes. Failing is beneficial to learning only if you take the time to learn from your mistakes.

Continuing, time is a precious natural resource. It cannot be saved, hoarded or mined and insists, like a tyrant, that it be used and depleted. Therefore, spend it wisely and generously because the common phrase, "I can save some time," is again, horse $h!t.

Finally, you deserve nothing. God placed you on this planet with a real purpose and objective and yours is not nearly as grand as His. Invest that time, sharing and love into Him and there is no amount of riches you will ever receive that will compare to the peace and joy you desire on this planet.

I hope I have sobered you up to the way the world works. I would have done you a disservice to stand here and tell you that everyone gets a trophy and everything will be marshmallows, unicorns and rainbows the rest of your life. It will not, but cherish those marshmallows when they come for they are sweet and light.

I wish you the best I possibly can and encourage you as you leave to spend the time you've been given in the most appropriate way possible.

Thank you.

Wish I had skipped today

Ever notice I'm not funny anymore? I mean, even I notice it.

So, I'm no longer working with TDB anymore.

Seems I'm "difficult to work with" according to ... let's be honest, one group of morons, not TDB.

It's hard to be technical in a world of people who absolutely cannot copy and paste. And I'm not joking.

Good side is that I get to work with a fairly skillful manager. I fear it's too late. They pretty much nailed it on the head when they said, "Well, it looks like you haven't been given any direction for a while."

Duhhhhh!

No, really, I'm ok on SPD

At about 3:30 AM I got out of bed to heed the call of nature. As I turned the corner of my bed, I slipped and fell and hit my head. Fortunately, 1) I did not lose consciousness, 2) there is no blood.

However, there is a casualty. Our bed. For some odd reason, our bed broke. We have an old B0mb@y C0mp@ny bed that looks like the one over there. Well, we don't have it any more. Quite a shock for 3:30 AM. The bed is in pieces. Truly strange.

So, tonight I'll make my traditional Shepherd's Pie and Guiness Bread.

The worst thing

I have a question for you ladies and men can chime in if they want.

Ladies, what's the WORST thing about being a woman? And then, what's the BEST thing about being a woman?

The Worst Generation

I'm not a fan of millenniums or boomers. Shocking ...

Millenniums annoy me because of their sense of entitlement and lack of effort to actually DO anything. If it's not handed to them, they call mommy and demand they call their boss to get it fixed.

Found this rather interesting article online from Esquire. Pretty damning. Good read.

Found here

"The Worst Generation"

by Paul Begala


I hate the Baby Boomers. They're the most self-centered, self-seeking, self-
interested, self-absorbed, self-indulgent, self-aggrandizing generation in
American history. As they enter late middle age, the Boomers still can't grow
up. Guys who once dropped acid are now downing Viagra; women who once eschewed
lipstick are now getting liposuction.

I know it's a sin to hate, so let me put it this way: If they were animals,
they'd be a plague of locusts, devouring everything in their path and leaving
but a wasteland. If they were plants, they'd be kudzu, choking off ever other
living thing with their sheer mass. If they were artists, they'd be abstract
expressionists, interested only in the emotions of that moment -- not in the
lasting result of the creative process. If they were a baseball club, they'd be
the Florida Marlins: prefab prima donnas who bought their way to prominence,
then disbanded -- a temporary association but not a team.

Of course, it is as unfair to demonize an entire generation as it is to
characterize an entire gender or race or religion. And I don't literally mean
that everyone born between 1946 and 1964 is a selfish pig. But generations can
have a unique character that defines them, especially if they are the elites of
a generation -- those lucky few who are blessed with the money or brains or
looks or skills or education that typifies an era. Whether is was Fitzgerald and
Hemingway defining the Lost Generation of World War I and the Roaring Twenties,
or JFK and the other heroes of the World War II generation, or the high-tech
whiz kids of the post-Boomer generation, certain archetypes define certain
times.

You know who you are. If you grew your hair and burned your draft card on campus
during the Sixties; if you toked, screwed, and boogied your way through the
Seventies; if you voted for Reagan and believed "Greed is good" in the Eighties;
and if you're trying to make up for it now by nesting as you cluck about the
collapse of "family values," you're it. If not, even if demographers call you a
Boomer, you probably hate our generation's elite as much as I do.

Let's start with the Sixties, the Boomers' dilettante ball. While a few
courageous people like John Lewis and the Freedom Riders risked their lives --
and others like Andrew Goodman, James Chaney, and Michael Schwerner gave theirs
-- the civil-rights movement was led by pre-Boomers like Martin Luther King Jr.
(who would be 71 if he were alive today) and continued without strong support
from the Boomers on college campuses.

Still, I must say this: If you were one of those young people who did risk their
lives to fight racism in the Sixties, who put their bodies on the line to
register voters, who marched and sang and taught and preached against
segregation, you stand as the best refutation of my anti-Boomer tirade. In that
one moment of conscience and courage, you did more with your life than I've done
in all the moments of mine. In a generation of selfish pigs, you were saints.

But the reality is that most campuses did not become hotbeds of unrest until the
Boomers' precious butts were at risk as the Vietnam War escalated. They didn't
want to end the war because they were bothered by working-class kids being blown
apart; if they had been, they wouldn't have spat on those working-class kids
when they came home from Vietnam, or tried to make heroes out of the Communists
who were trying to kill them.

Yet as troubling as that may be, the Sixties were in many ways the Boomers'
finest moment. It was at least a fad then to pretend to care about racial
justice at home and war abroad, to speak out against pollution and prejudice.
But it was mostly just talk. As they came of age, and as idealism might have
required some real sacrifice, idealism suddenly became unfashionable.

And so the Boomers careened into the Seventies without a thought to picking up
where King and the Kennedys left off. Without a war to threaten them, their
selfishness came into full bloom. You know the results: Drug abuse, once a
boutique curse of hip musicians, became more common than the clap. And speaking
of sexually transmitted diseases, the Boomers began to fornicate with such
abandon that rabbits we asking them to cool their jets. They didn't invent sex
or drugs or rock 'n' roll, but they damned near ruined them all.

And don't give me this crap about Boomer music. The Beatles were all born before
the end of the war. So was Janis. So while the Boomers can claim they had the
good taste to listen to gifted pre-Boomers, when it came their turn to make
music, the truest expression of their generation, what did they give us?

Disco.

The generation that came before the Boomers gave them Dylan. The Boomers gave us
KC and the Sunshine Band. Thanks a lot.

Unfair? Perhaps it is a bit of an overstatement. Some friends of mine have
suggested it's an outrage to ignore Baby Boomer Bruce Springsteen, for one. True
enough.

But even more than music, our remarkable economy is what drives and defines the
times we live in today. And as the generation in the economic driver's seat, the
Boomers should get the credit for building this remarkable prosperity, right?

Well, not quite. Nothing can detract from the breathtaking entrepreneurship of
Boomers like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. But what's interesting is that much of
today's prosperity owes its origins more to the high-tech young nerds of the
post-Boom generation than to the Boomers themselves. The most vital role the
Boomers have in the current economy is to sit on their brains and invest in
post-Boomer high-tech start-ups. The same folks who sponged off their parents
when they were young are now, as they age, getting rich off the industry of
their younger brothers and sisters.

Boomer political and economic values reached their most perfect expression under
pre-Boomer president Ronald Reagan in the Eighties: Screw your neighbor, lay off
the factory workers, shuffle a lot of paper, build an economy in which a few
people get the gold mine and most people get the shaft. It is telling that when
he ran for reelection, Reagan got higher support among Boomers than he did from
his fellow older Americans. Perhaps some of the Greatest Generation saw the
selfishness in Reaganism and turned away from it. And perhaps the Boomers saw
those same qualities, that savage selfishness, and embraced it.

In the long run, will it matter that one generation was so spectacularly
selfish? Maybe not. In a great karmic irony, the Worst Generation may in turn be
raising another great one. Having taught the children of the Baby Boomers off an
on for five years now, at the University of Texas at Georgetown, I find them to
be the opposite of everything I despise about their parents -- they are engaged
in their communities, spending endless hours volunteering to build housing for
the poor or to feed the homeless. They are concerned about their classmates,
having calmed down the PC mania and replaced it with a sensible sensitivity to
the feelings of others. They care about the future and are concerned about their
grandparents. They are more responsible in their private lives and more engaged
in our public life. I have no idea whether it's because of the Boomers or in
spite of them.

Greatest Generation chronicler Tom Brokaw has the difference pegged: "The World
War II generation did what was expected of them. But they never talked about it.
It was part of the Code. There's no more telling metaphor than a guy in a
football game who does what's expected of him -- makes an open-field tackle --
then gets up and dances around. When Jerry Kramer threw the block that won the
Ice Bowl in '67, he just got up and walked off the field."

That kind of self-effacing dignity is wholly alien to the Boomer elite. But when
that day comes, when they finally walk off the field -- or what's left of the
field -- a few of us who've been trailing behind them will be doing a little
dance of our own.


- ESQUIRE, April 2000