Grad school took it out of me. Funny thing is that the two classes I took this semester were what I do for a living. I ended up having panic attacks when I went to do homework. I'm a little burnt out. Talked it over with my professor and she agreed I was burnt out. So maybe next semester will be better. As a general policy I don't look at my grades. I'm in it to learn, not compete.
I'm throwing a lot of my effort into my photography. I keep telling myself I'm good even though I don't get hired. Can't tell you how that destroys your ego and if you are a guy, that's a big blow. Women think of it as someone telling you your boobs are small and your hair looks bad. But I'm having fun. If you want to read more of that blog it's at http://photographybyjefblog.blogspot.com/ I've also been doing some Vlogs at http://www.youtube.com/user/photographybyjef
Came to some catharsis concerning my dysfunctional life. It's my mom, not my dad. That's been sad. My tank is empty. Not sure if I will be able to recover from it. There comes a point, you just let go and drift and sink deeper into the water like watching Titanic or that movie with Michelle Pfieffer and Harrison Ford where the girl he kills sinks into the water at the end.
At some point I want to write the fictional book I've been wanting to write.
Thought to ponder: Just because you work hard, doesn't mean you will be successful. There are tons of hard working people who are not successful or well known. Not everyone gets a trophy.Yes, I did both of the pictures and yes they are the same person. One of my favorite models. One of the sweetest kids I have ever met.
3 comments:
I admire you for going back to school. I always said I was going to, but I just don't have it in me.
Your photos are good. The problem is maybe there are too many people calling themselves photographers. I have a nice camera. I like to take pictures and get creative with them, still... that doesn't make me a photographer.
Family dysfunction can make you crazy if you let it. Just when you think you have things figured out, some other aspect of it rears its ugly head. Don't let it define you.
Have a great holiday Jef! You deserve it, Merry Christmas :)
Love the pics. Especially the dark one. Sorry things have been rough for you recently. I really miss your thoughts and hearing from you though. You are appreciated but I guess just not in the way you want to be. That stinks. Hope things are looking up for you soon.
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